There is an origin to every story.  Superman/Clark Kent was sent to Earth by his father, Jor-El, as Krypton was being destroyed.  Michael Jordan was immaculately conceived and nine months later was born and placed in a manger in Bethlehem on February 17, 1963.  I am fairly certain that Kesha…I mean Ke$ha Continue reading →

Many regular bar patrons look at bouncers as jacked-up nimrods who work in one of the only industries that have a sincere appreciation for the size that mom and dad genetically handed to them.  They believe that with said size comes an inward need to kick ass and chew bubble gum…and believe that we are all out of bubble gum.  I cannot speak for the bouncers of the world, for I am but one man.  What I do know is that I am not a fan of resorting to fisticuffs.  Rather than getting violent, I choose to solve my problems and altercations verbally. Continue reading →

Before I get started with this rousing version of “Tales of a Bouncer,” allow me to express my apologies for not being able to write for a little while.  I am currently taking prerequisite classes in order to go to graduate school for teaching secondary English.  If you thought my literary talent carried weight with these Shakespearian tales of intoxicated asshats, you should see me spit the word in person.  The way I see it, it is time to get paid for it.  One cannot be a bouncer forever, right?

Speaking of returning to work, I should let it be known that I do not technically have a steady bouncing shift anymore.  Due to my endeavors stated above, I have chosen to devote the majority of my time to Continue reading →