For the uneducated hermit, please allow me to explain how a bar works. It is very simple.
First, let us begin with the reason one may walk into a bar. The simplest reason is because this person happens to be thirsty. Maybe the person is lonely and wishes to strike up a conversation about the recent dramatics going on within the Pittsburgh Steelers (or dramatics that involve a Pittsburgh Steeler within a bathroom stall. AM I RIGHT?!?!?!?). There is even a chance that a person has not been laid since the Bicentennial and needs to get himself inebriated to the point where a three-toothed, mole-infested, smoker’s cough spewing, degenerate gambling sea donkey would suffice as a warm body to cushion the fall. Continue reading →